Anger and rage have the same roots: They are always triggered by failure to achieve goals in oneself.
As I said, when anger rises, it can help to keep in mind two facts:
► You are who you are.
► What happened had to happen as it happened *.
(Of course, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't work on yourself or your environment in the future.)
It doesn't do much to be mad at yourself. This certainly does not change the past and may only allow your blind revenge (including against yourself) to run wild.
As a rule, in life, it is like this: If something does not work out, you should think about how you can do it better in the future.
That should also apply to his anger.
Since we now know that people are controlled by themselves - their psychological goals*, it makes sense to ask about those who triggered the anger (or anger).
Once you have discovered them, you have an advantage: goals can be influenced so that these emotions can no longer throw you off track.
But there are not a few people who believe that one should act out one's anger.
For example: to curse yourself - verbally or with gestures - or others or inanimate things, and to get angry. One reason for this is probably habit.
Well, if you mean this, you have to do it that way - but you also have to endure the consequences for acting out your anger.
I think it is better to look at one's anger first than to blindly submit and follow it: Why are you angry? Where does she come from?
And - to avoid similar behaviours in the future, you should develop a strategy for self-awareness.
Again: Anger means that an intended goal* has not been achieved, and from inside the person the request, the urge to achieve this (or an alternative) can arise - no matter how or by what means.
The anger or anger is often projected outward; to other people, other living beings, inanimate objects that are supposed to be to blame. Often also on the fate that it is targeting you or on evil forces.
It can affect mood and create sadness or resignation up to depression.
One usually does not get the idea that the anger or anger is triggered by one's own goals or attitudes.
Because many of the reactions are due to wrong goals * in oneself. With regard to one's own expectations of people and the environment.
Quite a few people get angry and curse each other when it does not lead to the result that one was aiming for.
That can lead to in a lack of self-confidence. And this in turn leads to disturbances in his internal processes.
If you defeat this anger and calmly move on in the direction of the desired or changed goal, finally reaching it (e.g., through compromises), then you are satisfied in the psyche* and proud of yourself.
Probably everyone has ideals of themselves - how they want or should be. This includes also often not to make mistakes, to be perfect.
With regard to these causes, you could find what you are looking for with your caregivers, the people you grew up with, the culture in which you lived or now live, and with the people you are with now (because of the ideal Goals often turn out to be angry at themselves if they are not achieved).
If you are annoyed, for example, that something did not work the way you expected it, then it is not unconscious that an unconscious metaphysical or mystical belief plays a role. Here you could be clear: Objects have no will and do not want to annoy you.
To avoid anger or anger, there are ways, among other things:
► About to say to yourself (as explained above): “What happened, had to happen as it happened”, because everything happens on the basis of substances that operate according to laws.
► And / or try to research the trigger, rethink it, ask what part you have played in it and how you could change, possibly modify the goal or give up completely.
In order to get to know each other better, you could observe each other (with your I*). One would i.e., find that the same processes often occur. Here would also be an approach to change yourself.
Because you are of course dependent on your psyche. And for harmony and balance, it's good to get along with yourself.
This cannot be achieved by force, nor by punishing yourself with curses.
Since the reactions (anger and anger) ultimately come from your own point of view and attitude, you should generally start with yourself when it comes to changes. With the question, how could I behave in a more moderate and appropriate manner in similar situations? a solution could already be created.
Does one have e If an answer is found, it should be linked to the spontaneous reaction. More precisely: Form a goal with this answer, so that every time the impulse wants to evoke the behaviour, this is also activated and thus dampens and regulates your own behaviour.
If one succeeds in doing this, then the anger will also decrease in the future because the goals have been defused.
Of course, since we are all goal-driven, creating new goals is far more effective than curse yourself.
A little suggestion for dealing with unpleasant incidents that had happened:
If you start from the motto: What happened had to happen, how it happened, then it doesn't really make any sense to get angry.
So why do you get angry?
Because what was happening was not what one would like it to be.
If you were the main trigger yourself, then emotionally anger can arise.
It would also be advisable to contrast the rational side with the emotional side. And then train negative feelings on your behaviour (without curse yourself).
Depending on how far you could integrate this into yourself, the more influence it has on the psyche.
Questions like: “How could you do that?” “Can't you be careful?” And similar questions would no longer be asked about the past.
The more and more intensely you explore the situation in which something happened, the clearer it becomes that it had to happen exactly as it happened.
In the future, of course, there will be different behaviour in similar situations, because you have learned and gained experience - only in the situation at that time there was only this one possibility.
There are indeed many, if - then, only for the past, i.e., if something had happened, they are of no use.
But of course, you can use them for the future.
So: why do you get angry?
Because a goal was not achieved.
Why was this goal not achieved?
Because it wasn't possible with respect to the environment or people or the inadequacy of oneself.
Is this anger good or does it harm?
Usually the latter.
How could something be changed in relation to this goal in the future?
Mostly to modify the desired goal: So when you can overcome yourself to influence or change your own goal.
You are who you are, so treat yourself that way - if you cannot change without harming yourself.
Because you are what you are - i.e., your brain is (what capabilities and possibilities it has).
In addition, think of the motto: what happened had to happen as it happened.
So, your brain had to become what it is now too. And be as it is according to your change request (i.e., same or changed).
And you can only change yourself through your brain (for example with your I, which is also in the brain) - if this has the ability to do so.
Another small analysis: If someone is angry about something, they once did themselves, then the moment they are angry, the situation at that time appears in them, floods them like a flash. So, he acts as if he had just done that.
Anger about oneself is always triggered by goals that are in one and have formed neural networks - midpoints. You want to be reached; to be one way or another, to understand, to act, etc.
As I said, one solution would be to make this goal clear to yourself and try to find out why and through what it was formed.
Then one could consider how to reduce the anger or stop acting:
• Is the goal really that important?
• Is it just an ideal or a wish?
• How could it be modified?
• Are you not accepting yourself for who you are?
Finally, a word about brooding.
"Definition (Wikipedia): Brooding is a form of reflection in which the thoughts revolve around several topics or a special problem without coming to a solution."
It usually steals energy and is of no use - unless you think about the incident, topic, etc. to find out why it happened and then change it.
To do this, you try to put yourself in the shoes of the situation at that time as precisely as possible. The better one succeeds in this, the more clearly one can see that this had to happen exactly as it happened.
This has two advantages:
• The brooding stops.
• You learn to understand the world and yourself better; how the laws of that time had worked.
What you should avoid as far as possible is to ask yourself with a reproach or guilt * self-denial: "How could you do that !?
Because only changes in yourself bring something.
1. It had to happen because of the law.
2. It is usually very difficult to revisit the situation with all the circumstances and the past To put feelings into it.
3. If you really managed to do that, you would only come to the conclusion that it had to work out exactly that way.
4. In order to achieve a change, it is sufficient to generate a different reaction for future similar situations - if necessary, to practice this in the 'dry state'.
And finally: If one does not come to a solution one way or another, then it is important to finally get rid of the brooding yourself!
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