Conversation about letting go of the past (What happened had to happen, how it happened)

 

 "I once wrote a conversation with Phil Osof, which I would like to reproduce here":

 

 

• Nobody can change the past.

 

• The central point for inner flexibility is: accept the world as it is - if you cannot change it.

 

• It is liberating to be left by the shadows of the past

 

 

"I keep coming back to see how often, when something has not happened the way you expected it to be - such as when trouble arises in you - it's often through your world view that you get away with it."

 

"I say the Motto: 'What happened, had to happen as it happened', and usually notice how the tension caused by the anger dissolves.

In my view, this is very healthy: I am not trapped by the midpoint of anger and can restructure relatively quickly. If it makes sense, I can focus on solutions to deal with what caused the trouble in similar situations in the future. If I continued to be caught in the midpoint of anger, it would block my restructuring. I would waste energy because I quarrelled with the past, with what had happened. Of course, I cannot change the past. "

 

"The key to achieving its goals is flexibility; not being hindered by wrong targets, such as anger about the past? "

 

"That way I can solve myself faster and use the gained capacities to reach my goals," Phil Osof nodded.

"However: the more something moves me, the harder it becomes for me to neutralize it with the sentence: 'What happened, had to happen, how it happened'.

Like a mother whose son was murdered said, 'I know. that I cannot change the past - but the sadness stays with me '.

 

"Decisive for the right reaction is therefore always able to detach from the past?" I hooked.

 

"That's the key point."

 

"But are not you sometimes mad at what happened, what happened to you? Does not that sound like it? Do you never complain about fate? "

 

"Why should I do that? Everything that happened had to happen the way it did.

Fate - or God or 'heaven' or whatever, blaming people for what happened to you - is neutral.

That is, nothing that happened to you has been caused by some higher power especially for you. Neither in the negative nor in the positive. "

 

"So, you are not, like some people, upset with fate that has given you the negative?"

 

"No. In addition, I have to say: The so-called, Negative 'is actually negative only by my respective attitude - not in itself, and not from every perspective. So, I get annoyed when my expectations are not met. The starting point for the solution is to withdraw or change my expectations. If I succeed, the anger will also be resolved. "

 

"So, the central point is the inner attitude?"

 

"Yes. That's why the phrase is so important: 'Know thyself, recognize your thinking and try to modify it if it's wrong.'

 

"I have to ask again: is it not true that, despite the knowledge, it had to happen the way it did and the approach outlined above, you are sometimes angry or frustrated and can only barely overcome those feelings?"

 

"Of course, the feelings are not necessarily turned off by the knowledge yes.

But that does not change the fact that everything had to happen the way it did. And of course, that in me then these feelings, such as anger occurs. "

 

"You believe that there are only substances and laws that cause everything?"

 

"Yes, that's the way the world works:

Everything consists of substances that run according to laws. Everything is a sequence of structures, constellations that are subject to certain laws that are also in them.

And therefore, everything had to happen as it happened, because the law of the respective value structure allowed only this and no other possibility.

It is my deepest conviction that this motto is irrefutable.

Therefore, you should take the world as it is - if you cannot change it - and not fight against it."

 

"Substances" do you define how? "

 

"'Substances' are elementary particles, structures, atoms, neutrinos, molecules, neurons, crystals, liquids, gases, cells, living things, brains, forces, facts, things, living things, ideas, ecosystems, stars, star systems, galaxies, etc.", he answered. "In addition, they are also considered as virtual substances in states of empty spaces (the vacuum in space)."
 
"So everything?"
 
"Yes," he nodded, "invariably. Everything in the content of the universe is considered a substance: on a large scale, like galaxies - which are relatively tiny in relation to infinity - or on a small scale, like elementary particles. And of course, everything in humans.
 
"And 'laws'?
 
"'Law' means that identical parts - or waves - always give identical structures under identical circumstances.
Laws are properties of substances that, viewed in isolation, are unchangeable unless something is added to or removed from the substances.
 
And that means that everything can only proceed in a very specific lawful form."
 
"Substances and laws belong directly and inseparably together?" I asked.
 
He nodded. "Yes, there are no substances without laws, you cannot separate or change them. The formula: substances = laws is universal.
 
Therefore, it is nonsensical to be mad at fate or anything higher, or to quarrel with it. "

 

"Many people have difficulties with the past," Phil Osof continued, "with what happened. They cannot detach themselves, they cannot let go; neither from your own past or from what happened in the world.

This is often a mistake, because - you should always be aware of this, also or just because it seems natural - the past cannot be changed! "

 

"Then you actually do not need to apologize if you did something wrong? Because what happened, had to happen that way! "

 

"Well, an important point in my framework is to respect the world, the values of others. This includes especially the feelings. If these were hurt by my behaviour, I should apologize for it - just because of the harmony. Likewise, if I have done a damage; that I try to make amends. "

 

He put his hands on the table.

 

"In any case, this motto makes it easier to accept and let go of the past. And it can help quell any hatred. "

 

"In order not to be mentally and physically handicapped by the past, to remain able to act," I repeated, "it is particularly advantageous to be able to disengage as quickly as possible from being free to act, to act with regard to what necessary to achieve its goals. "

 

"Exactly," Osof nodded, "to be free and to stay: this also includes, in particular, to detach themselves from the ideas, desires that prove to be unfulfillable."

 

"So, change expectations."

 

"Exactly because some of the old attitudes can be associated with feelings of disappointment, anger, sadness that hinder new, appropriate attitudes."

 

"These block the right behaviour to achieve its goals?"

 

"Naturally. The freedom of action is blocked. Because that's exactly what it's all about: being flexible in order to be able to adapt to each other.

The important thing is that the psyche becomes flexible and remains, that neither false goals do not block it, nor feelings and thoughts from which one cannot be released. "

 

"And the motto mentioned at the beginning is particularly suitable."

 

"Exactly. When you are angry with what happened in the past and complain about it loudly, then it is like shouting a stone: Because the cause of what had happened, were just substances, according to the laws expired.

So, the point of annoyance should not be to argue with fate, to blame, but his own attitude, his behaviour, in a word: to modify his goals. "

 

"Many people do not think so."

 

"That's probably so. They want to take revenge, they cannot forgive others and themselves, they cannot forget insults, they cannot cope with defeats.

A mistake of the people is, as already said, that they often cannot take areas that are not to be changed as they are.

And in this futile struggle - to change oneself, the others and the world - they rub themselves up.

Often through unhealthy goals, which they have taken over during their development, for example, from caregivers and society.

How much energy is often spent and tied up to maintain the negative view of the past! "

 

"They say that if these people could see and accept the motto - and most of all - be able to solve themselves - then they could use those energies for themselves and others to shape the future better?"

 

"Naturally. But so, they remain in their midpoints, such as the self-reproaches: 'How could you do that'?

If they asked this question in the sense that they could avoid similar behaviour in the future, that would be perfectly healthy.

But this question often becomes a rhetorical one that can be repeated endlessly and torments people. They are trapped by themselves for a long time: they cannot change the past and do not make the future any better for the reasons just mentioned. "

 

"This behaviour is also triggered, among other things, by her conscience? "

 

"Yes, through the values that they have in them, that shape them and tell them by their feelings what is right or wrong. This core of human beings is often so strong and offers considerable resistance to change that man lives in it as in a prison.

Similarly, if you feel you have to take revenge on other people for their actions: this revenge behaviour will always have an impact on yourself and a torture. And this vicious circle will continue as long as they cannot be solved. "

 

"And could they change that if they saw that everything that happened had to happen the way it did?"

 

"That would be a way," Phil Osof nodded.

 

"I think it's hard to go through life and look at it according to this motto. Because: Of course, you have your likes and dislikes. And you cannot just ignore that; the feelings come up and shape one. "

 

"Of course, you are quite right, Mr. Hermsch. I'm actually only concerned with a basic truth. That manifests itself in the 'motto'. "

 

"But it's actually a very good reason, you do not want to be vindictive," I said.

 

"Sure," Osof nodded, "but there are many who want to be vindictive - for example, to enjoy the feelings of their own righteousness.

I mean: the one who cannot be attached to the negative past, but who can take her as she was, can be lucky. This is the way he can turn his attention to the present and the future - largely negatively unencumbered. The past devours less energy.

 

Incidentally, even what I'm seeing is almost a thing of the past and had to be done as it happened. "

 

"You mean that, e.g. our conversation, which we are leading at this moment, is already past in the next moment? "

 

"Yes - and had to happen exactly as it happened."

 

"It's a strange thought to know that I had to say exactly what I just said."

 

"This view is certainly unfamiliar. But the very phrase you just said came from the goal of expressing your feelings in this way. "

 

"People who believe say, 'God determines fate', or 'People have their fate with God in their own hands'," I changed the subject.

 

"That's the unrealistic thing about faith. You can try to make the most of everything and be happy if you succeed with it - but no matter if you have had success or failure, what happens then must be because of the substances and laws as it happens, and not because a god so wills.

An imaginary God that exists outside of the human brain does not exist. And that's why it's nonsense to say: God determines destiny.

So, people have their fate in their hands only to a limited extent; conditioned by the possibilities that they have.

Do you see the difference? On the one hand the belief in something supernatural, which can intervene at will in any event, without having to worry about any natural processes. For example, with a 'wave of the hand' to stop a tsunami heading for the coast, to stop an earthquake abruptly, or to bring a volcanic eruption to a sudden standstill. On the other hand, the realistic attitude that there is nothing supernatural that can intervene in natural processes.

It is the arrogance of human beings that we do not want to see, we do not want to see that, like everything else in the universe, we only run according to substances and laws.

Many 'seekers of knowledge', philosophers, religious founders, etc. said, 'My action was determined by a higher power'. These people are wrong! Action is never determined by a higher power, but is done on the basis of substances and laws. "

 

"Many people actually make a higher-level authority - say God - responsible for their fate," I added.

 

"Again, it's just the neutral substances and laws that have led to something.

But that can often, as I said, among other things not be seen by the vanity of people: that we are no more than anything else in the universe. "

 

"There are many people who say it's utter nonsense to say, 'what happened had to happen the way it happened'."

 

"Well - they simply lack the ability to analyse their behaviour."

 

"Why do so many people believe in God, mysticism, and similar supernatural?"

 

"The fact that there is something mystical, supernatural, God, was an absolute truth to the primitive human beings that gave them their feeling, otherwise they could not explain themselves to the world, which will eventually become established in the genome or epigenetics have, and emotionally continues in our primal structures.

Then: After procreation, the new living entity may feel its surroundings as something diffusely overpowering in which it is bound, that gives it security, and has all the power. Also essential is the so-called 'magic phase' between the ages of 3 and 5 years. The feelings experienced here affect more or less later in life.

Depending on the plant and the culture in which it grows up, it will shape this feeling and make it more or less concrete. Here is always the experience of the feelings that it has made at the beginning of his life, have a strong value. "

 

"That's how we create structures like 'god', right?"

 

"And all the creations of the brain in this way," Osof nodded, "which among other things have already caused so much horror in the world. "

 

"Will this ever change?"

 

"I do not think so, most people are not ready to recognize themselves - much easier and 'nicer' is to stay in their wrong goals, feelings.

 

It is like this: What happened, had to happen as it happened. "

 

 

 

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